And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
