I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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