I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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