it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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