their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
