so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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