I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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