I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
