the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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