I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
