when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
