On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
