so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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