Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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