She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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