When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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