i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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