My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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