There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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