I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
