No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
