Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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