so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
