pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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