The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
