Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize