I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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