remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize