i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
