why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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