Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
