That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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