Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
