Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
