Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
