there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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