i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
