do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
