My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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