Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
