Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
