Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
