Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
