Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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