I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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