What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Alive.
So much puke
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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