sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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