I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
