I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
my liver is dry heaving
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
