Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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