is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
