Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
