I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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