Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
