before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
are you so shy because you have an std?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
