what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
