I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
