So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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