I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
