I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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