At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
