My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
