Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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