please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Randomize
