This girl is more easily done than said...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
